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whew a lot of things happened in 2005, some were awesome, some gruesome and others were lonesome. it  was one heck of a year that passed.. many experiences, many mistakes, many learnings. join me in reminiscing as i walk down my memory lane of the year 2005.

january 05
-->new year nanaman, birthday lang ni bestfriend car, slumber party sa bahay nila at fun fun fun, di pa rin nakakarecover sa mga past mistakes.. at birthday din nga pla ni lors at ni daddy.

february 05
-->js turnover (boo-hoo! wala tlaga kaming prom)
-->valentine's day (pero wala akong valentine hihi)
-->finals na dahil graduating eh
-->kahit malapit na matapos ang high school life, masaya parin ang month nato

march 05
-->pesteng IP (again, palpak nanaman, again, bagsak nanaman)
-->field trip sa wowowee! haha
-->SULONG.. last na eh
-->huling hirit ng mga grad practices
-->pahabol ng mga bondings
-->grad ball (yehes naman! haha at least may ganito pa kami ah.. that was not a very memorable night, hehe prang ang lungkot na kasi alam mong tapos na ang high school huhu)
-->march 22, grad na! goodbye high school life! this was the beginning of the end, and the start of a new beginning haha
-->bakasyon na!
-->seniors 05: da best tong batch na to, wala ako masabi, lahat andun na! as in lahat haha kumpleto na eh, all girls man kami, kumpleto parin eh.. andami ng napagdaanan ng batch nato pero solid parin hehe astig tlga, madami mang sumubok pabagsakin, di naman sila nagtagumpay. madami mang nagaway, nagkabati naman. madami mang nagkasira, nagkaayos naman. andaming friendships na nabuo at hindi kakalimutan. andaming moments na ichecherish mo hanggang kamatayan. da best toh. miss ko na kayo!

april 05
-->grad party for the batch (sa bahay namen)
-->ILC sa subic (muntik nakong magsisi sa pagsama ko dito pero nalaman ko naman ang importansya nito sa buhay ko).. msaya prin naman eh
-->bonding kasama si car, adela, at pilo
-->birthday ni ate at ni mommy
-->YFC summer youth camp
-->heat stroked
-->youth camp:the best toh eh, as in wala akong masabi, too many words to say and to define the intensity, bsta ansaya.

may 05
-->the month that was may
-->this was the ultimate month of the year 2005 (for me ah!)
-->i was captivated....... by God! hehe
-->bsta this was the best summer
-->puro YFC happenings eh
-->bday ni trina
-->bday ko (may 17).. the day i turned sweet 16
-->bday ni bff cha
-->swimming bday party namen ni cha
-->sobrang daming nangyari tlga nung may, as in umaapaw.. masaya at malungkot, pero astig!
-->malupit toh eh.. dito nagsimula ang lahat...

june 05
-->at dito naman nagwakas, awww.. :(
-->unti-unti ng nawawala ang pagka-heat stroke
-->slowly drifted away, sad and painful, haha!
-->1st day of college oh yeah oh yeah
-->hello college life! and hello UP! haha

july 05
-->UAAP season
-->to the next level na ang pagkaadik sa uaap grabe haha
-->the month i had my contacts
-->college workload haha

august 05
-->bday ni jestee iris
-->mga exams, here they come!
-->uaap season parin eh

september 05
-->whoo ang setyembre ng buhay ko hahaha
-->wala na mxdo significant events
-->the month i had a "bf"
-->the month i WAS "lovestruck" yuck jologs haha beh bsta un (take note of the capitalizations and the quotation marks :P)

october 05
-->single is a very powerful word
-->yehes single nanaman! haha
-->whoohooo! nothing lasts long in this world.. tsktsk
-->napakasaya at napakahabang sembreak na yehey!
-->yfc events muli

november 05
-->sembreak youth camp sa YFC the best nanaman eh.. lagi namang the best pag youth camp eh.. haha
-->showing ng harry potter 4 yehey
-->2nd sem na
-->back to skul nanaman boohoo haha
-->lumipad si batman patungo sa aking puso haha
-->si batman ang tagapagligtas hehehehe

december 05
-->the last month, and the shortest (prang dumaan lang)
-->pasko sa UP ay masaya at makulay ehehe
-->may bumabalik ba?
-->at meron bang lumalayo?
-->it was christmas again, and yes it was a not so happy christmas for my single heart haha
-->di ko nga naramdaman ang pasko eh.. slight lang haha
-->xmas party ng ihmp chapter, sobrang saya at sobrang daming revelations ah. hehe! kewl
-->tpos na ang taon

yun ang 2005.. nakakawindang, nakakahilo, nakakapraning, nakakatuwa at nakakalungkot din.

january 1, 2006 na ngayon, unang araw ng bagong taon. anu kaya ang mangyayari sakin sa mga susunod na araw? ,mas magiging masaya kaya..mas madaming pagsubok? mas madaming pagkakamali? mas madaming matututunan? hayy..

happy christmas everyone!

enjoy the bountiful noche buena!

happy birthday JESUS!

god bless all of us!

i can't understand. i don't see the logic. i don't know if there's a reason. i can't figure out the possible explanation. i won't squeeze my brain cells trying to disdain the proper manner to express the surging emotion. it's crap and it's bullshit. it's useless and pathetic. it's a downright evidence of the deteriorating ethics of a so-called "man."

how could one possibly come up with such ideas to hurt another? is it for plain joy or just attempts to have revenge? furthermore, how can a boy do something to hurt a girl he "loved" and "cared" for? honestly, how do you understand a guy like that? i don't mean to hurt anyone in particular or to discriminate guys in general, except for this one specific person and others who are like him.  if only i could spill the intricate details for my reason to think this way, but the story is just too shocking to handle, especially if the one involved was a person you considered your friend. oh shit! why are some guys like that? if all the guys in the world were like him, better not to have a male specie to live with. 

fortunately, not all the guys in the world are like this stupid, pathetic asshole. you'll still find guys who are considerably gentlemen in their own little ways. they can show you in simple ways how they care for a girl and what to do to make her feel special..

i once had a conversation with a good friend, she told me a startling statement that opened my eyes to appreciate the overwhelming rights of being a girl..
   ME: lam mo, grabe talaga mga lalaki noh? as in katulad ni XYZ, ang saklap ng ginawa niya sakin eh, hindi gawain ng mabuting nilalang..
   FRIEND: onga laui, kaya wag mo na iconsider yun, i mean wala lang un, just a bad experience to start your lovelife with
   ME: onga eh.. shit, all the good ones are always taken, kung di naman, bading! o kaya naman maliit sa height, pucha!
   FRIEND: totoo.. alam mo may sinabi ung isa kong friend dati, and he's a guy. so eye opener siya kasi knowing a guy like him, for him to say that,  that is really something.
   ME: ano ba sabi nia?
   FRIEND: sabi niya, "Women always say that they demand equal rights, but the truth is, they don't want to be treated equally with men."
   ME: onga noh, pero pano un?
   FRIEND: for example diba, ayaw natin na kalevel lang tayo ng mga lalaki, gusto natin, royalty ang treatment satin diba? we want to be respected and treated as something special. hindi ung parang bagay na gusto pag gusto tas pag sawa na, iiwan nalang diba.. pero ako, ayus lang sakin na hindi ako pagbuksan ng pinto ng mga lalaki o kaya hindi nila hatakin ung upuan ko bago ako umupo.. hindi ako helpless na kelangan ko pa sila para lang magawa ang isang simpleng bagay.. ayus lang un basta wag lang nila ko gagaguhin na filing nila tatanga-tanga ako.. 

hayy.. hard to comprehend, hard to digest and hard to ponder about..  

for the guys who read this, welcome to girl world, you've seen a glimpse of what most of us perceive about certain things.. i don't mean to offend anyone.. it just so happens that this is what i know, this is what i have, and this is what i can't understand...

i don't know what's happening to me.. it's weird, and it's mind boggling.  i just wish i'd find the answers to all these questions.. i think my relationship with God is failing, and when i went to julie's blog, i read that she was kind of experiencing the same thing, so i'm not alone in the world who feels like so. great, but what now? i don't pray at night, i do things i know that are wrong, i forget God when i should remember His presence, i just seek Him when i need something for myself, how selfish! why oh why?! am i severely suffering depreciating faith syndrome? or am i just thinking that i don't feel His presence as much as i did before? what's wrong? i always think that when i go to yfc events or when i am given more chance to spend time with God, i will feel close to Him again, but lately, though i join in worshipping and singing praises to Him, i don't talk to Him.. i can't feel it.. Lord, i'm sorry.. I guess i should be more open, sensitive and selfless in feeling your presence surrounding me,help me please.

again, is what i'm asking a selfish plea? i don't know, i can't seem to understand anymore...

i'm in dire need of a gimick! as in.. friends, invite me! come on people let's enjoy the holidays, even though i have tons of schoolwork to accomplish! why oh why? why do i have to endure the heavy workload of a college student during christmas time when the cold rush of the wind tells you to sleep all day and go have fun?

anyway, thankfully i got a chance to free my mind of any worries, u.p. friends and i went bowling and videoke! aha aha! cool! it was really fun and though none of us ever knew how to play bowling correctly, we enjoyed it! inna got the highest score and her ball was number 10! whoah how heavy that was! i couldn't even get comfy with the number 8 ball! haha then we went to a low profile videoke and busted our vocal cords! oh yes indeed! it was really fun.. if you want to experience a glimpse of the happiness we had, visit http://superherolaui.multiply.com 

i'm excited because of ate's christmas gift to me, i was asking her for a pair of pink hi-top chucks, oh how i wish that's what she'll give me.. but then again she said she wouldn't, but i have a gut-feel that she will.. unfortunately, mommy spoiled my overflowing excitement when she said ate showed her the gift already, nooo! haha anyway i still am hoping.. i think she'll buy it now because she went out with kuya bee yehey! i was also planning to ask kuya to buy me the ultra electro magnetic jam album for christmas. sadly and unfortunately again, he said he bought me a gift already and it was just with ate jen. knowing my ever-kuripot kuya, i can't think of what possible gift he'll give me. haha i asked lola for a pair of havaianas this christmas, just wish she'll comply! :D thanks lola! aha aha and since mommy already said no-no to an ipod nano gift (huhu), she'll just buy me a cheaper mp3 player eventually! good enough ryt? yehey thank you mumsy! :D but i am beginning to appreciate that christmas is not really all about gifts, presents and how big or expensive they are. it's about being with the people you love, feeling happy that you are alive and spending this joyous event with them. it's about being thankful and being satisfied of the wonderful blessings you have... but it still isn't bad to ask and wait for gifts and presents, after all, what is santa's purpose then? :D

by the way friends, my hair is curly now and it feels good, i just wish the treatment would stay with my hair.. with just 1 hour after i got it curled, i think it's returning to straight mode.. noooooooo! i didn't went through the bad-smelling perming treatment just to have my hair straight again!

again, i'm waiting for a miracle to happen.. merry christmas single hearts! :P countdown to christmas: 3 days! happy birthday JESUS!!!

merry christmas everyone!! and happy new year!

time to make resolutions for a better you! go strut your moves and enjoy the remaining holidays.. oh yeah oh yeah!

Kahapon, sobrang saya ng araw ko! Yeah! Bakit? Kasi bakasyon na! Tyaka na isipin lahat ng proyekto at mga problema.. oh yes it’s Christmas baby! Ooh yeah! Nung umaga pinass namen ang take home exam namen sa English, buti nlng nakahabol kami bago magsara ang English dept. para sa kanilang xmas party! Speaking of xmas party, I miss having one! grabe.. sana may xmas party ang block namen kaya lang wala L… kaya gumawa nlng kami ng sarili naming xmas/slumber party oh yes! Haha sana matuloy at sana masaya! Yehey..

Tpos naghintay kami ng sobrang tagal sa sobrang init na AS lobby para sa oblation run! Ahahaha.. excited ba? Nahh! Haha :P ayun na nga ang tagal tpos sobrang init, sobrang siksikan, sobrang daming tao! Whew! Buti nakasurvive kami sa loob! Waah at ayun na nga,, tumakbo na sila! Haha!

Tpos di ko na ieelaborate ang oblation run ok? :P ayun sa sobrang init at sobrang gutom, di na namen kinaya! Dumeretso kami sa sm para magpalipas oras.. ansaya fud trip lang naman kami ni zereen tpos bumili ng shirts haha ansaya tlga tpos nabad3p man kami dahil hindi kami nakasakay sa vios na taxi.. (daym, bakit mo kaya gagawing taxi ang vios?!) tpos pinagbayad kami ng 120 sa taxing nasakyan namen, ang sungit pa ni manong driver! Nabad3p man kami, masayaaaaaaa parin!

Duckpin bowling

Astig.. ansaya maglaro nito.. kahit mallit ang bola, mabigat, walang butas at maaaring makabali ng wrist.. ansaya tlga maglaro lalo na pag may natamaan kang pins! Yahooooo! And first tym ko nakapasok sa bowling center ng up alumni center.. astig haha may billiaran din pla dun, for p.e as well, I guess haha.. it was not airconed, it was not clean, it was hot there, it was not fully lit, at take note manual ang pagarrange ng pins.. as in “Manong, ok na!” haha at habang tumitira ka, fun na Makita mo ang mga paa nila manong na naglalakad.. careful not to hit them! Wawa naman eh tpos sila rin magbabato ng bola pabalik sayo o diba? Only in UP yan! hehe.. pero msya.. fun! fun! fun! yahoooo..

Pinoy big brother

Big nyt na ngaun oh! Oooooooooh! Sino kaya mananalo? Hmmmm.. gusto ko manalo si uma or Jason haha! Wla lungs..

Gossips

Chismax here, chismax there, chismax everywhere!! Y o y?! bakit kelangan lagi ako makasagap ng chismis? Or kahit hindi chismis.. kahit simpleng news lang bout someone you know.. tpos magiguilty ka afterwards kasi alam mo na kelangan malaman ng isang tao ung news na un pero sabi nung nagsabi syo na wag mo sabihin kahit kanino.. waah hirap diba? So how do you deal with that? Especially if you think you owe a lot to that someone(who has to know) to at least share that news. Arghh

Crushed

I found out that one of my ex-crushes reunited with his ex-girlfriend! (Well, technically, his girlfriend again) Huhuhu.. sad sad sad for me.. but happy happy happy for them.. gawsh.. life is so unfair!

Superhero

I realized lately that I want to be one…

Batman

He or “it” is slowly captivating me.. inching his or “its” way towards me.. gulping me slowly but surely and letting me fall into his or “its” trap! Heeeeeeeeeeeelp! Before I fall too hard!

Countdown to Christmas

15 days… happy birthday JESUS!!

My single heart

Yes, it’s still single.. and it’s Christmas again..